One thing people will frequently ask is, "does Oliver sleep through the night?" Depending on the person, I sometimes laugh, lie or feel like crying! Ha! The truth to the answer of this question is no. At nineteen months, Oliver still does not STTN. Is it hard? Am I tired? Yes. Would I have it any other way? No.
How do I do it with being sleep deprived? I get asked this question a lot, so I will try and answer best I know how:
I love being Oliver's mama. I also love Oliver's daddy. My husband is a huge help! Since I am the one who feeds Oliver, my dear husband has taken on the role to bathe Oliver. Many friends who breastfeed, are worried that their husbands won't be able to help out with the baby. However, there are lots of ways for all dads to help! In order for you to get the most "rest," let him! Trust me, your husband is not going to break the baby.
We all know I am a big fan of the family bed. Jacob and I bought a king size bed just for Oli! Lucky kid, eh?!? It came to the point that we didn't care if Oliver slept on the roof, as long as the kid slept. So, he sleeps in our bed. We have many people ask us all sorts of questions about this and they really just don't understand how it's possible. Western culture puts babies in cribs, but the rest of the world, I can assure you, sleeps with their babies. Did you know China has the lowest SIDS rates, and the highest family bed rates? Oliver sleeps much better when he is in bed with us, so that's where he sleeps! Pretty simple :)
So how do you get more sleep? How do we function as mothers? We look to our babies to see their patterns. Oliver was a cat napper; he would sleep thirty minutes and not a moment longer. Not even a minute. I could time him down to the very second! He would take these thirty minute naps every 1 1/2 hours. So, I knew every 1 1/2 hours I would have a thirty minute break to take a shower, or do laundry, or sit on the couch and veg, whatever. Trying to schedule Oliver racked my brain and I had to realize this was just not my baby. Once I started following his cues, we were both much happier.
Nighttime sleep. Many nights, I saw the clock every single hour. Why did I look? I'm not so sure. I think sometimes I would hope that maybe two, even three hours had past before his last feeding. Most of the time, not a single hour had passed. Yes this was hard, but I was his Mama and this was the choice I made. Oliver didn't ask to be born, he didn't ask me to breastfeed him. This was my choice and this was my baby who needed me, not just when the sun was out, but during Mr. Golden Moon's reign too. I sucked it up. Now at 19 months, I can say it does get easier, every day get a little bit easier. Oliver still sometimes wakes two to three times a night, but I just remember this was my choice and still is my choice. I wouldn't change that for anything.
If your baby doesn't seem to like lying down, then make your life easier and do what works best for your baby. Let them sleep where they seem comfortable (but make sure it's safe). Some babies need to swing, some babies prefer the sling, some enjoy stroller rides. Do what works and don't feel guilty or pressured to do things the way others think you should.
Speaking of guilt--don't allow others to guilt you into things. If I had a penny for everyone who said just let him CIO, I would be rich! Everyone would jib-jab about how their baby sleeps all night and they get SO much rest and their baby never comes into their bed. Bull crap. If anyone has ever told you their baby has never came into bed, they are probably lying! Do what you feel is right and don't worry about what anyone else thinks! Remember it's your baby, all they need is your love mama.
So for all the mama's with 'wee bits', tired beyond belief, we know its hard and we know your tired--you CAN do this. Soon your little baby won't need you the way they do now. Eventually, you will miss those late night feedings and cuddling. They grow so fast so try to enjoy every moment. Be encouraged because there is hope. I'm going to add some links below so you can do your own research. Don't feel alone, get connections, be informed. Your an awesome mama! Keep on loving your babe!
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