Oh, How I Try.

Words from Umma Nelly:

Some people think I worry too much. Some people think I should allow this or that. I just know that overall, I want what is best for my son. I have always had a love for research. I love looking up different topics and just learning a little more about things that matter to me. When I had Josiah, I found myself consumed by parent books, peoples advice, parent websites, the Doctors TV show... Oh, how I try to do what is best...

Sometimes, I get really sick of people when they try to tell me to do something different. I don't know how many times I have muttered, "if Josiah was in a car accident, it would be better if Josiah had broken legs, than a snapped neck." Do you know how many people comment on how Josiah should be facing forward in the carseat? Did you NOT listen to the new recommendation and why they recommend it to the age of two now? It's just simply aggravating... Oh how I try to ignore their little comments...

Sometimes, I get really tired of hearing people tell me that I worry too much when it comes to what "beauty" products we use or the food we consume. Listen, I don't judge you for what you eat, so let me eat my organic food in peace. I love learning what's in our food, because I don't want to fill my body with nasty processed food. It's not good for you. Yes, I still have my days when I pass a McDonald's and I find myself shoving my face with their french fries.  However, I still want to try to eat healthy, "pure" food because I FIRMLY BELIEVE we can cure many health issues with just some SIMPLE changes in our diet. Why would I want to support body products or even food that have been linked to cancer or even psychological disorders? I KNOW that I can not run away from all the toxins of this world! I GET IT! HOWEVER, I want to do my best to stay away from the products and food that I can avoid. The more I can avoid, the better. Let me watch my documentaries. There is no harm in learning and being AWARE of how our food and products are being handled. Ignorance is not blissful; it's dangerous. Oh, how I try to live an "organic" lifestyle...

We live our lives as the clock keeps ticking, finding out who we are and our purpose in life. We run after the calling that God has constantly stirring up in our hearts. We beat to our drum, but together--we sound like a beautiful, yet broken orchestra. Our differences bring up fights and wars, but it also unravels beauty and how we can fit together. We were not born to be the same, but we were each born for a different purpose, a different calling. We were born to fight for what we believe.

If we didn't look out of place, I bet billions of people would walk around with signs with what they believe to be true. However, we use little remarks instead and always find a way to slip in what we think is right. I get tired of the remarks, especially when I'm not in the mood to debate. There's a time and a place for disagreements and whatnot. There are some things that I just don't want to hear anymore. It just gets old. I wish there were more people who would just support and let us find out whether we're right or wrong on our own terms, even if it will hurt. Some things don't even really matter, so why do we constantly find ourselves adding those little comments? Maybe it's just the fighter inside of us. Maybe it's just our human nature.  It's hard enough to be a parent, why must others try to persuade you to not necessarily follow your motherly instinct?  It's hard enough to figure out a steady nutrition "diet", why must others try to persuade you to eat this or that just because "they're fine"?

I know I'm a fighter. I know I stand on my soap box, a lot. It's because I feel like people are constantly trying to deter me from my beliefs. I try to be the best wife. I try to be the best parent. I try to be the best of what God intended me to be. I know I'm not always right. I know I can be stubborn. But... Oh, how I try to SO HARD to do what is right...