Why YOU ARE a wonderful mother

Okay, Okay. I know you’re all probably wondering why I’m making my come back blog about this? I can hear you all through your computers (and iPhones) saying Whoa Brittany, what about that VBAC birth story we have been waiting to hear for oh gee the last 9 months? The Birth Story will come, but I seriously feel the need to blog about this specific topic as it’s something I (and lots of my friends) have been struggling with lately as Mommies. 

These days the culture of Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram are screaming at us saying  “Look at me! Look what *I* do with my kids! Look how pretty *MY* life is, Look at all the crafts, and parks, and playdates, and activities *I* do with my kids!” 

Letting My babe cook! At least for the picture!

The problem with this is it makes all the other mothers out there feel like crap. I know when I see some of this i’m like “Wow, Ummm I kept my kids alive today? Does *that* count for something?!? With all this in your face, it’s no wonder other mamas feel like failures. I see a mom post herself painting with her kids and I’m like “Damn gotta break out the paint- what a freaking mess this is going to be!” Now it’s not that I don’t paint with my kids, because we do, and it’s not about not sharing your mothering journey with the rest of the world. But the problem lies within the comparisons. The seeing what others mothers do and feeling like you don’t measure up, like your not a good enough mom. I get that. I feel that.  And those moms who are posting all the “good” pictures, they feel it too. Our grandmothers and mothers didn’t have these pressures, Heck our grandmas probably didn’t work, and gramps probably made plenty for her to stay home and raise the kids. Our mothers even may have stayed home or worked, but regardless our moms didn’t have the pressures of the internet. Our moms probably had her little circle of real life friends and although may have compared herself to them, sure didn’t have thousands of other woman she was comparing herself too.

Baby playing...house probably messy just not in the pic!

I feel like it’s turned into a competition. How am I doing? Am I a better mother than her? Is she a better mother than me? Now whether anyone is willing to admit that, thats another story. But here I am waving both hands in the air saying “I do it too.” Yup how’s that for authenticity. I see photos on Instagram and Facebook and see what other moms are doing with their kids and I feel like I simply don’t measure up. Here I am a mom of two, trudging through this thing called motherhood wondering most days if I’m even doing it right and wondering why the hospital didn’t hand me a manual when I took my firstborn home.

I know a lot of people think I’ve got it all together. People see me tandem nursing and say “WOW you are super MOM!” What you don’t see dear friends is that I am a part time stay at home mom/ part time trying to work and make money mom/ and putting myself through school. I have a 3 year old doesn’t nap nor is he big on sleep and a 9 month old who is currently getting 4 teeth at once. I am tired, I am worn thin, and most days it’s all I can do to feed them and keep them happy until my husband gets home from work. Sure I post pictures of my sweethearts all lovey dovey and it looks and appears that my life is just perfection. But what you don’t see Instagrammers is the huge pile of :insert any amount of crap: I shove off to the side so my house looks clean for that picture! OR that I bribe my 3 year old with chocolate so he will smile sweetly for a cute picture, OR well you get it! 

There are times the boys do smile without chocolate and there are days when yes my house is clean and beautiful,I craft with the boys, I make dinner, I go to the store, I take the kids to the park, I do the laundry and I AM super mom! BUT there are also days there are crumbs on the floor, dishes not only piled high in the sink, but overtaking the counters, and laundry lets not even go there (can we say smell test?) 

The point I want to get across to you Mamas is this: Facebook and Instagram are not the whole picture. Sure there are wonderful moments and times we take pictures and it’s real, I mean it’s all real but its not always all pretty.

So the next time you see that mom posting all those fabulous pics and you think she’s got it all together, chances are she probably doesn’t. And thats ok. It’s ok we don’t have it all together. It’s ok our houses are messy and we haven't had a shower in 3 days. It’s ok that the baby has lunch crusted on his face and is wearing his pajamas all day. It’s hard to be a mother in this day and age. We are all doing the best we can. We are all wonderful. I’m just here to tell you that ITS OK. Your doing OK, You are doing a great job, you ARE a wonderful mother. hugs! 

There is a mess on my couch that I so cleverly sat on for the pic!